Less Than Inventive Incentives

• Certificates of appreciation don't buy many groceries.
• How about that employee of the month stuff. Instead of employee of the month, I want a raise and benefits.
• I like when you earn points towards something. When you have enough points, everyone forgot about the contest.
• You get lunch with the boss. There's a real winner.
• Employee drawings. You work your butt off to get in a drawing, and the prize looks like it came from a backyard sale.
• "You do good work." Yea, gee, thanks. Sixty hours a week, no benefits, beg for vacation. What more could I ask for?