Wise Thoughts on a Little Bit of Everything

• Life is sexually transmitted.
• Men have two emotions: hunger and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
• All of us should learn a lesson from Mother Nature: She doesn't give a damn what we do or think.
• It wouldn 't hurt if about half of everyone on Earth went somewhere else.
• I guess religion is ok. It beats sitting around having nothing to talk about.
• If you give a person a fish, they'll eat it. If you teach them to fish, you'll never see them again.
• The average cost of raising a dog to age 15: $12,000. The average cost of raising a child to age 18: $170,460. Score one for the dogs.
• You can try to lick your elbow, but it won't work.
• When it's time to retire, you'll know it. Your job will no longer make cents.
• In life, there are way too many things to remember. To help you out, I narrowed it down to  this: