- Don't ever take a loaded gun for granted. Or the owner.
- If it's over 50 steps, drive.
- If the sun is out, and it's over 50 degrees, tee it up.
- Never marry someone you haven't seen naked.
- In the scheme of things, the only thing more important than work is everything.
- Some days you're better off staying in bed.
- Never commit a crime you can't buy your way out of.
- If it looks like a politician and smells like a lawyer, run.
- It is impossible to kill your way to peace. Even a fist grader would know this.
- Guns will not make us safer. Would drinking poison for a cold make you feel better?
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