The Lamenting of a Soon-To-Be 65 Year Old

• I got up this a.m. and took my pills. I now use a pill box so I can remember whether I did or not. Oh brother....
• I went to the bathroom. The older you get, the more important this event becomes. A good bowel movement is now just about as thrilling as sex.
• I walked down to the end of the drive to get the paper. Seems a mad man in Texas shot two people. Confirms my notion that everyone carrying guns is not good.
• I fed the dog. Ninety pounds. Nice little fella. We have group therapy every morning. I usually get to talk the most.
• I fixed myself some oatmeal for breakfast. I shape it in the form of a donut. Old habit.
• Time for a little reading. I now use a Kindle. You can make the print real big.
• A little walk. They say walking is good for you. On the other hand, so is moderate drinking. So I walked to the tavern.
• An afternoon nap. I'm starting to enjoy this. I told my wife my doctor said I had to so this, which may be a little misleading.
• Up just in time to watch reruns of NCIS. I love Abby, and I think Ziva has the hots for me.
• Dinner time. I used to love dinner. Fried chicken, steak with gravy, french fries, and ice cream and/or cake. Tonight it's tasteless something with no salt, fake potatoes, and spinach. No-fat pudding is a real dessert treat.
• After dinner, a little computer work. Answer e-mails, look over the news for potential peeves, and look over the stock market. I see a stock I bought for 9 and sold at 12 is now at 52. Oh well, it's only money.
• Time for meds and off to bed. The pharmacist and I are becoming good friends. I pay for his vacation, he sends me a postcard.
• Bedtime. It was another hard day. I'll share with you my journal entry: "Another hard day at work. Hardly time to eat. Busy signing autographs and investing money from my new book. Dinner this evening with my wife. Wine, steaks, and dancing. Went home and make passionate love for 2 hours. Finally tired. Will sleep 5 hours and run 4 miles at 5am. Life is good."