How to be a Good Salesman

• You have to be able to take money from people who can't afford what you are selling and not apologize in the process.
• Keep it simple. The simpler the sales pitch, the more appealing. Go figure.
• You have to be able to lie and cheat. Otherwise, you wouldn't sell things for three or four times or five or six times their value.
• Guarantee everything forever. People are impressed by such stupidity.
• Never stutter when explaining to the customer how badly they need your product.
• Advertise, advertise, advertise. Lie, lie, lie. Now you got it.