The seven days of creation:
Day One: Right-wing, Republican, Christians had to be created right off the bat. Otherwise, this whole thing wouldn't have worked.
Day Two: Trees were created so that Weyerhaeuser could make huge profits.
Day Three: Animals were created for the pleasure of NRA members to kill.
Day Four: On day four, water was created. Have you ever not taken a bath for four days?
Day Five: "Family Guy" was created, although some people think "The Simpsons" came first. There have been several wars fought over this disagreement.
Day Six: Sex had to be created somewhere along the line, or you wouldn't be reading this. Since the human race has ended up being pretty dumb, I'm figuring God was not real crazy about this idea. He probably had to do a power point presentation. "Lay on top of one another, (preferably a male and female), and make a wish. You may need to do this repeatedly, at least until you're fifty. Than forget it."
Day Seven: No selling autos or beer on day seven. No one has ever figured this out, but I'm guessing Moses got drunk and bought a clunker.
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