THE PEEVER'S TEN COMMANDMENTS
- Never sunbath in the nude. You might forget to turn the other cheek.
- Do not look at another mans ox, nor his ass, nor make a pass at him in the john.
- Do not cheat your fellow man. There are no exceptions for lawyers, politicians, or CEO's.
- Do not join a country club. It's not nice trying to fool God into thinking there are only white people.
- Do not think that you are any better than the next person. This will help avoid number four and might possibly keep you from spontaneously combusting.
- Do not change your sex. God does not like this, nor will the guy making a pass at a girl who is really a guy. Or vice-versa.
- Do not idolize more than one God at a time. This is way to confusing for most people.
- Go to church on Sunday. And do not work. Golf counts for church, and it is not generally considered work. And be sure to pray for that putt to go in.
- Do not believe anything Moses said. He was President of the NRA.
- Finally, never, ever, doubt the word of The Peever. For He has been to the promised land. Well, maybe it was only Las Vegas, but still...
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