Some Sparrow Opening Lines

• I woke up, smelled the coffee, then lay in bed for three hours.
• Using my phone, I took a picture of my camera.
• I'm allergic to alcohol: every time I drink it, I get lightheaded and befuddled.
• I live in a mobile home: my body.
• For six months, drugs can make you a better person.
• You can't cut the military budget, because the U.S. must be constantly losing at least two wars.
• If you met Jesus, you wouldn't understand a word he was saying.
• The one compelling argument for pacifism is war.