Some Under The Table Wisdom

• They say men and women were meant to be together. I say then why was golf invented?
• For every problem there is a bureaucrat somewhere who is getting paid the money it would take to solve it.
• It's good if you can admit being a Republican. That's the first step toward recovery.
• I always thought I'd make a great psychiatrist, but I'm way too sane.
• I had a lady ask me why men just want to take her to bed and nothing else. She had on  skin-tight stretch pants and a low cut blouse, with everything pushed up. I handed her a mirror. 
• At what point is it that government becomes too much government? I think I've pinpointed the exact moment, which just happens to coincide with the times Congress is in session.
• Racquetball is an alright game, if you like being locked in a small room with someone who is trying to kill you.
• I drive defensively. I don't trust the other guy. I just kick back and wait to see what kind of stupid move he or she is going to make. They seldom disappoint me.