WAYS TO EXPLAIN THE DOWNWARD TREND IN HUMANITY

1. Blame the monkeys. If that don't work, blame the politicians. But I repeat myself.
2. It could be the fluoride in the water.
3. I personally think things started going to hell when Jack Benny died.
4. Wal-Mart.
5. Too many people, not enough disease.
6. Perfumed toilet paper. Makes even assholes smell good.
7. The decline of intelligent sperm.
8. The increasing gap between the rich and the poor. And the rich and the richer.
9. We got too many right-wing Republicans with too many crazy ideas.
10. If it's not the monkeys, the fluoride, Wal-Mart, the right-wing Republicans, or perfumed toilet paper, then it must be... I'm pretty sure it's the right-wing Republicans.