TEN THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN YOU'RE DYING

1. Don't make a mess.
2. Don't bellyache about lost opportunities. It's too late.
3. Hopefully you remembered to renew your life insurance.
4. If you're lying there all peaceful and you suddenly see God or angels, don't necessarily take that as a good sign.
5. Wear something comfortable when dying. It may be warm where you're going.
6. Make sure you have a change of underwear.
7. Don't drive a car and die. You'll get a ticket and probably your license will be revoked.
8. Make sure all your personal things are in order. Who gets what, when? This will help avoid nasty confrontations amongst your family. You might want to give everything to me to help avoid this problem: Bruce Weik, Hot Springs Village, AR.
9. Don't forget to yell out right at the end: I'm sorry. This takes care of a lot of apologizing, and keeps them wondering.
10. In your last moments, try to keep it light. Maybe a joke or a little magic trick.