* In the beginning, there
were no humans. And it was good. The world flourished. Then God got this
brilliant idea: Why not ruin everything?
* Ten commandments are not
near enough. I would have 5,354, most having to do with the rich screwing the
poor.
* People mistake the Garden
of Eden for creation. That was an orgy. Evolution is the creation story.
* Thou shall not kill. How
much simpler can I make it?
* Do not take people like
Oral Roberts, or Jerry Falwell, or Pat Robertson, or Dr. James Dobson, or Rev.
John Hagee, or Jim Bakker, as spokespersons for Christ. He would have nothing
to do with them.
* If God would have known
people were going to get in wars over religion, he'd have never thought this
stuff up.
* I have been noticing most
people are not praying, they're begging. You got to quit that.
*In the end, there was
nothing left but politicians. And God said, "This is bad. Peever, why
don't you take over." And a deep hush fell over the land, and a voice
could be heard crying from the White House: "Oh shit!"
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