MY CHRISTMAS WISHES

1. I'M WISHING SANTA WOULD PACK UP ALL THE RIGHT-WING REPUBLICANS AND TAKE THEM BACK TO THE NORTH POLE. THIS WOULD BE GOOD FOR US BUT BAD FOR SANTA AND THE ELVES.
2. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING A BRAND NEW LEXUS, BUT I DOUBT SANTA HAS THAT ON HIS LIST. I DO, HOWEVER, HAVE IT ON MINE.
3. I'D ASK FOR A GUN, BUT IT SEEMS EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING THE SAME. I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT ANYWAY. I'D PUT IT IN MY FRONT POCKET AND PRETEND.
4. I DEFINITELY DO NOT WANT TO SEE A WHITE CHRISTMAS. THAT'S THE WEATHER I'M TALKING ABOUT. THE OTHER WHITE IS DEFINITELY ALREADY HERE. 98% HERE.
5. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MY TWO FRONT TEETH, (MAYBE A FEW MORE). EIGHTY-FIVE PERCENT OF ARKANSAS RESIDENTS ARE WISHING THE SAME THING.
6. I WISH EVERYONE WOULD HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT. ACTUALLY, I WISH EVERYONE WOULD HAVE ALL THE FOOD RICH PEOPLE ARE GOING TO EAT, AND THEY WOULD HAVE NONE. JUST ONE DAY, AND THE WELFARE MONEY FOR THE POOR WOULD TRIPLE.
7. I AM A BIT AMBIVALENT ABOUT CHRISTMAS.  I DON'T LIKE ALL THE SHOPPING. CHRIST WAS BORN POOR, IN A STABLE WITH STINKING ANIMALS, AND DRESSED IN SWADDLING (NOT DESIGNER) CLOTHES. CHRISTMAS SHOULD NOT BE A TIME FOR EXTRAVAGANT GIVING OR GOING INTO DEBT TO BUY PRESENTS. CHRISTMAS IS A TIME TO BE HUMBLE, COMPASSIONATE, AND GIVING, NOT TO THOSE WHO HAVE, BUT TO THOSE WHO DON'T HAVE.