SOMEBODY CHECK MY BRAIN

1.  I THOUGHT THE PRESIDENT SAID "NO MORE WAR."
2.  MITCH McCONNELL SAID SOMETHING THAT MADE SENSE.
3. MY BRAIN MUST BE MALFUNCTIONING. I DIDN'T THINK JUST ANYONE COULD COME INTO THIS COUNTRY AND ADDRESS CONGRESS? MUST HAVE BEEN MY MISTAKE. I'M GOING TO INVITE CASTRO. WE COULD USE A LITTLE LECTURE ON REVOLUTION.
4. I'M LEFT HANDED, SO THE RIGHT SIDE OF MY BRAIN IS DOMINANT. THAT'S WHY I DON'T UNDERSTAND RIGHT-WING CHRISTIANS. 
5. THE OLDER I GET, THE LESS INCLINED I AM TO REMEMBER THINGS.