Friday, July 17, 2015

LETTERS TO GOD

DEAR GOD,
DONALD TRUMP IS COMING TO HOT SPRINGS. I WON'T BE THERE, ALTHOUGH I COULD USE A GOOD LAUGH. WILL SPEND MY MONEY AT THE CIRCUS INSTEAD. THE EVENT IS SOLD OUT. MOVED TO CONVENTION CENTER. I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU: ARE YOU SURE EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT DOWN HERE? I'M BEGINNING TO THINK SOMETHING HAS GONE TERRIBLY WRONG. MAYBE OUR WATER SUPPLY IS BAD? OR THE AIR IS DEVOID OF SUFFICIENT OXYGEN? OR MAYBE EVOLUTION IS PROGRESSING, MAKING THE HUMAN BRAIN SMALLER? WHATEVER JOKE YOU ARE PLAYING ON US, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. IF THIS IS TRULY THE END, AS IT APPEARS TO BE, WOULD YOU PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I HAVE A FEW THINGS ON MY TO-DO LIST, LIKE WEED THE GARDEN, AND I NEED TO INVEST MY MONEY IN SOME KIND OF APOCALYPTIC MONEY SCHEME. PLEASE SEND ME SOME KIND OF SIGN. MAYBE YOU ALREADY DID. HELLO DONALD.
SINCERELY,
THE PEEVER

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