DAYS OF HEALING

I'm thinking of buying an empty church down the road and opening a center for the recovery of right-wing Republicanism. I'm thinking of calling it, "Days of Healing." Our commandments will be a variation of AA's Twelve Steps:

1. Admitting you are wrong about the world and the way you view it.
2. Handing you life and recovery over to someone with an IQ over 50. This will require you to make new friends. 
3. Come to understand there are many path's to God's door, none of which include Donald Trump or Ted Cruz as gate-keepers.
4. Make a list of all the persons you have hurt with your hateful right-wing ideology and ask for their forgiveness. This will be difficult, particularly if you have children.
5. Admit that guns are not worthy of worship; that government should help the poor, not the rich; that war should be a last resort, not a first priority; that health-care is a right, not a commodity; that democracy does not come from billionaires buying politicians; and that if you hate socialism, send back your social security and medicare, and don't put your car out on the highway. It's all evil.
6. Practice compassion, charity without conditions, kindness, tolerance, diversity, understanding, forgiveness, compromise, and negotiation. It is best to practice those things that you are least good at.
7. Admit that women should have more control over their bodies than congress or the supreme court. 
8. Admit that all of us should have more control over our bodies than congress or the supreme court. 
9. Humbly ask Gold to forgive you for misusing Christianity and the Bible.
10. Come to understand that when you mix politics and religion, all you get is stink.
11. Having seen the errors of your ways, give everything that you own to the poor as repentance for you misguided ways.
12. Once you are over this right-wing nonsense that was likely instilled in you by your parents, it is your job to help your others overcome this affliction. Live life to its fullest and by happy. You'll be amazed at the results. You might even smile.