HELP IS ON THE WAY

·        Overeaters Anonymous is a big group. I went to a meeting a while back figuring I could lose a few pounds. I suppose it went pretty good. I only gained two pounds at Dairy Queen afterward.

·        Emotions Anonymous is a good thing. By the time I found the meeting I was really upset. They said to take a deep breath and visualize the ocean. I guess they didn’t hear about the hurricane.

·        Gamblers Anonymous is a sorry group. Half of them bet me I wouldn’t come back for another meeting.

·        Alcoholics Anonymous was the first self-help  group following the AA model. They only give first names at the meetings. You wouldn’t believe how many Mary’s and John’s are alcoholics.

·        Debtors Anonymous is mainly for persons who abuse credit cards. One person had 126 cards. I didn’t go into any details.

·        Sex Anonymous is for people with too much lead in their pencils. Or pens. For obvious reasons, the guys sit on one side of the room, the gals on the other. When researching this group, they made me wear a blindfold to the meeting, for obvious reasons. I had to attend Cheaters Anonymous the next night.

·        The Mannequin Lovers Anonymous group turned out to be a bunch of dummies.

·         Politicians Anonymous meets every week to help those folks who have an overriding urge to enter politics. They talk and talk but never say anything. An interesting observation: Their noses all seem unusually long.