TAKE IT FROM AN OLD, CANTANKEROUS MAN

• TRUMP WON'T LAST.
• ORLANDO, CHICAGO, BLACKSBURG, NEWTOWN, AURORA. WE WILL NOT LET EVIL PREVAIL. WE NEED FEWER GUNS AND MORE SENSE.
• THE YOUNG ARE OUR FUTURE. WE HAD OUR CHANCE. NOW IT'S THEIRS.
• IF SOME JACKASS IS YELLING AT THE WAITRESS, YOU CAN BET HE DOES THE SAME WITH HIS WIFE.
• DON'T LOOK TOO HARD FOR GOD. HE'S SITTING RIGHT THERE AT THE END OF YOUR NOSE.
• IF YOU NEED TO CARRY A GUN TO FEEL SAFE, YOU ARE ON THE WRONG PATH.
• THE FANCIER THE CAR, THE SMALLER THE PENIS.
• DON'T BOTHER ME WITH ALL THE NONSENSE PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT. I AIN'T INTERESTED.
• THE BIGGEST DECISION I WANT TO MAKE AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE IS WHETHER TO GO GOLFING OR FISHING.
• THINGS AREN'T ALL THAT BAD. THEN AGAIN, THEY AREN'T ALL THAT GOOD.