SNAKE MAN

AS A TRIBUTE TO MY SNAKE KNOWLEDGE, I AM CALLED UPON TO REMOVE SNAKES FROM HOMES, DRIVE-WAYS, GARAGES, SWIMMING POOLS, HOT TUBS, AND PEOPLE'S ARMS. I BECAME KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT SNAKES AND LOST MY FEAR OF THEM IN GRADE SCHOOL. WE HAD A SCIENCE TEACHER, MR. KEISER, WHO WAS STUDYING TO BECOME A HERPETOLOGIST, WHICH IS THE STUDY OF REPTILES, OF WHICH A SNAKE IS ONE. ENDS UP, I AM MORE FEARFUL OF PEOPLE THAN I AM SNAKES. A SNAKE IS ALSO FEARFUL OF HUMANS, SO WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. A SNAKE WILL NOT BITE YOU FOR NO GOOD REASON. USUALLY YOU ARE BOTHERING IT, EITHER BY MISTAKE OR ON PURPOSE. EITHER WAY, IT WILL NOT BE VERY HAPPY WITH YOU. MOST SNAKES ARE NOT DANGEROUS. SOME, OF COURSE, ARE. KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE IS A GOOD IDEA WHEN YOU ARE DEALING WITH SNAKES. IF ONE SHOULD BITE YOU THAT HAS FANGS, THAT'S NOT GOOD. IT IS POISONOUS. SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY. IF YOU GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM, YOU WILL NEED TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF SNAKE BIT YOU. RATTLESNAKE, COTTONMOUTH, COPPERHEAD ARE THE MOST COMMON. YOU WILL NEED TO CATCH IT AND PUT IT IN A SACK. THIS MAY RESULT IN ADDITIONAL BITES, THE EMERGENCY ROOM WILL CLEAR OUT REALLY QUICKLY.  IT WILL BE WORTH IT. THEY CAN GIVE YOU ANTI-VENUM FOR THAT SPECIFIC SNAKE. MOST SNAKES WILL NOT KILL YOU, BUT YOU WILL WISH YOU HAD NEVER MET IT. AT ANY RATE, MY BUSINESS IS GROWING. I NOW CHARGE $100 A SNAKE. I COULD CHARGE A MILLION, THEY WOULD STILL PAY IT. USUALLY, I ONLY TAKE IT ABOUT A 100 FT. FROM THE HOUSE. I LOVE REPEAT BUSINESS. A GOOD SNAKE WILL RETURN AT LEAST 2 OR 3 TIMES. DON'T YOU JUST LOVE CAPITALISM.