SOME OF LIFE'S BITTER TRUTHS

• SOFT ROCK AIN'T ROCK AND IT AIN'T MUSIC. IT'S JUST SOFT ROCK.
• DON'T THINK OF LAWS YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW. THINK OF THEM MORE AS SUGGESTIONS.
• AS SOON AS SOMEONE IS SINGLED OUT AS AN UNSUNG HERO, HE OR SHE NO LONGER IS.
• WEATHER FORECAST FOR TONIGHT: DARK. WEATHER FORECAST FOR THE NEXT 4 YEARS: DARK.
• BY AND LARGE, LANGUAGE WAS INVENTED TO CONCEAL THE TRUTH.
• THE IQ AND LIFE EXPECTANCY OF AMERICANS RECENTLY PASSED EACH OTHER IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.
• I NEVER JOINED THE BOY SCOUTS. I DON'T TRUST AN ORGANIZATION THAT HAS A HANDBOOK.
• SOME DAYS IT'S WORTHWHILE TRYING TO FIGURE IT ALL OUT. MOST DAYS IT ISN'T.
• WHEN ASKED TO PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE, I RUN.
• TRY TO REMEMBER THIS IF YOU ARE CARRYING A GUN AND "STANDING YOUR GROUND." KILLING IS KILLING, OR SAY THEY SAY, WHEN IT COMES TO JUDGEMENT DAY.
• MOST PRO-LIFE PEOPLE ARE NOT PRO-LIFE. THEY ARE PRO-BIRTH. ASK THEM ABOUT CAPITAL PUNISHMENT, WAR, HEALTH-CARE, SOCIAL WELFARE PROGRAMS. THEY ARE NOWHERE CLOSE TO PRO-LIFE.
• YOU CAN FOOL MOST OF THE PEOPLE, ALL OF THE TIME, WHICH WAS DRIVEN HOME AS TRUE THIS LAST ELECTION. 
• IF YOU MARRIED HIM OR HER FOR THEIR LOOKS, OR THEIR MONEY, OR THEIR STATUS, WELL, GOOD LUCK. YOU'LL NEED IT.
• I USED TO BE A CHRISTIAN. WITH ALL THESE RIGHT-WING CHRISTIANS INFECTING THE WORLD, I HAVE RECONSIDERED.
• EVERYTHING YOU THINK IS NOT NECESSARILY TRUE. PARTICULARLY IF YOU GET YOUR INFORMATION FROM FOX NEWS. 
• THERE ARE TIMES YOU HAVE TO STAND UP AND FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS GOD AND RIGHT. NOW IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES.