HOW TO PREDICT THE FUTURE

• GUESS
• I DO HAVE A CRYSTAL BALL. GENERALLY, ALL I SEE IN IT IS MYSELF. IT'S GOOD TO KNOW I'M IN THE FUTURE. THE BALL DID TELL ME THAT HILLARY WOULD WIN THE ELECTION. HANDS DOWN, THE BIGGEST BEATING IN QUITE SOME TIME. SHE WON, BUT THE BALL FORGOT: THIS IS AMERICA. 
• YOU CAN STUDY VARIOUS TRENDS, REPORTS, STUDIES. IT'S NOT TERRIBLY HARD APPLYING INFORMATION TO THE FUTURE. TAKE ICE MELTING AT THE NORTH POLE. ANY DAMN FOOL CAN FIGURE SOMETHINGS WRONG. THE FUTURE LOOKS INCREASINGLY WET, PARTICULARLY IN FLORIDA. OR SAY THE STOCK MARKET IS GOING UP, LIKE IT IS NOW, WITH TRUMP HELPING ALL THE RICH BOYS. YOU CAN PRETTY WELL FIGURE THERE IS GOING TO BE A DISASTER IN THE NEAR FUTURE. BY EARLY NEXT YEAR, AFTER A RAPID ASSENT, THE MARKET WILL PLUNGE. REALLY PLUNGE. OR TAKE POLITICS. WHEN YOU ELECT A MORON, YOU CAN FIGURE WE ARE GOING TO GET SCREWED. BINGO. FROM NOW UNTIL HE GOES BACK TO HIS HOME PLANET, DON'T BEND OVER.
• I THROW SEVEN STONES AND READ THEM, DEPENDING ON THE LAYOUT, I PREDICT THE FUTURE.  IT'S VERY IMPRESSIVE. I THINK I AM GOING TO MOVE TO 11. MORE OPTIONS.
• PREDICTING THE FUTURE IS A FUNNY BUSINESS. FOR ONE THING, IT'S IN THE FUTURE. FOR ANOTHER, IT'S IN THE FUTURE. BUT IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN BEFORE IT HAPPENS, JUST EMAIL ME AT GOOGLE.COM. PUT IN "THE FUTURE." GOOD LUCK.