HERE'S THE THING:

• IT'S EASY TO GOVERN WHEN ALL YOU DO IS PLAY GOLF. AND I BET HE CHEATS. HE BEING OUR DULY NON-ELECTED PRESIDENT.
• IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS, THERE IS NOT ANYTHING BETTER THAN A RHUBARB CUSTARD PIE.
• I'D LIKE TO THINK OF MYSELF AS A PATIENT PERSON, BUT MY PATIENCE IS RUNNING OUT WITH OUR GOVERNMENT. I CAN'T BELIEVE THE MESS WE'VE GOT OURSELVES INTO. IT'S SO MUCH OF A MESS I'M THINKING ABOUT REVOLUTION. THE SECOND AMERICAN REVOLUTION. I'M GOING TO CUBA IN MAY TO SPEAK WITH RAUL CASTRO. I'M GOING TO TRUMP HIM. I'M SURE HE WILL HAVE SOME SOUND ADVICE.
• IN A WORLD FULL OF CRAZIES, LET'S HAND OUT GUNS TO EVERYONE. THAT WILL MAKE THINGS BETTER. THE NRA IS OUR WORST ENEMY. THEY ARE WORSE THAN ISIS, OR IS, OR WHATEVER THE HELL WE ARE CALLING THE ENEMY NOWADAYS. 
• MOST OF WALL STREET NEEDS TO BE PUT IN PRISON. I'LL DESIGN IT. IT WILL BE A VERY SPECIAL PLACE. ALL THE MODERN CONVENIENCES. I'M THINKING ALL THE GUARDS SHOULD BE BILLIONAIRES. THEY CAN CONTINUE TO ONE ANOTHER FAVORS. WE COULD FILM IT AND PUT IT ON TV. IT COULD REPLACE ALL THE MILITARIZED PROGRAMS. AND FOX'S FAKE NEWS. THIS WOULD BE "REAL" ENTERTAINMENT.
• HERE'S THE THING; WE SHOULD HAVE UNIVERSAL HEALTH-CARE FOR EVERYONE RATHER THAN SPONSOR 3-4 WARS AROUND THE WORLD, 5 DICTATORSHIPS, 20 OR SO USELESS AIR BASES, AND 2 OR 3 COUPS PER YEAR. WITH ALL OF THE MONEY WASTED ON THE ABOVE, WE WOULD HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR UNIVERSAL HEALTH-CARE, AND FREE COLLEGE FOR THOSE THAT QUALIFY. AND MAYBE A GOOD STIPENT FOR ME THINKING ALL THIS UP.