DEAR GOD,
PLEASE HELP. WE ARE IN DEEP TROUBLE. I USUALLY WOULD NOT ASK YOU TO HELP ANY SPECIFIC COUNTRY, BUT WE ARE IN NEED OF AN INTERVENTION. IT WOULD HELP IF YOU COULD MAKE WASHINGTON DISAPPEAR, BUT I DOUBT YOU WOULD DO THAT. AND IT WOULD BE HARD TO FIND A TIME WHEN THE PRESIDENT IS THERE. SO I'LL ASK YOU FOR SOMETHING MORE MUNDANE, LIKE GIVE THE PRESIDENT A BRAIN, OR SEND CONGRESS BACK TO THEIR HOME PLANET. AS FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ELECTED THESE MORONS, I CAN ONLY ASK YOU TO HAVE MERCY ON THEIR WALLETS. WE HAVE ENDURED ALMOST ONE YEAR OF THE WORLD'S GREATEST LUNATIC. I SHOULD THINK THAT'S ENOUGH. HELL AND DAMNATION WOULD BE A BETTER ALTERNATIVE. AT ANY RATE, PLEASE HEAR MY PETITION AND PLEASE GIVE IT SOME CONSIDERATION. AFTER ALL, IT IS YOU WHO HAS TO BEAR SOME OF THE BURDEN. YOU DID INVENT US, ALTHOUGH I'M SURE BY NOW YOU REALIZE THAT WAS A MISTAKE.
AMEN
PLEASE HELP. WE ARE IN DEEP TROUBLE. I USUALLY WOULD NOT ASK YOU TO HELP ANY SPECIFIC COUNTRY, BUT WE ARE IN NEED OF AN INTERVENTION. IT WOULD HELP IF YOU COULD MAKE WASHINGTON DISAPPEAR, BUT I DOUBT YOU WOULD DO THAT. AND IT WOULD BE HARD TO FIND A TIME WHEN THE PRESIDENT IS THERE. SO I'LL ASK YOU FOR SOMETHING MORE MUNDANE, LIKE GIVE THE PRESIDENT A BRAIN, OR SEND CONGRESS BACK TO THEIR HOME PLANET. AS FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ELECTED THESE MORONS, I CAN ONLY ASK YOU TO HAVE MERCY ON THEIR WALLETS. WE HAVE ENDURED ALMOST ONE YEAR OF THE WORLD'S GREATEST LUNATIC. I SHOULD THINK THAT'S ENOUGH. HELL AND DAMNATION WOULD BE A BETTER ALTERNATIVE. AT ANY RATE, PLEASE HEAR MY PETITION AND PLEASE GIVE IT SOME CONSIDERATION. AFTER ALL, IT IS YOU WHO HAS TO BEAR SOME OF THE BURDEN. YOU DID INVENT US, ALTHOUGH I'M SURE BY NOW YOU REALIZE THAT WAS A MISTAKE.
AMEN
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