1. TEN GUIDELINES FOR LIVING A BETTER LIFE ARE NOT NEAR ENOUGH. THERE SHOULD BE 2,345, MOST HAVING TO DO WITH NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE POOR; A FEW ABOUT SEX; MAYBE ONE ABOUT NOT BEING A JERK.
2. IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WERE NO HUMANS. AND IT WAS GOOD. THEN GOD GOT THIS BRILLIANT IDEA: WHY NOT RUIN EVERYTHING?
3. I MET AN ANGEL. SHE WAS A WAITRESS AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE. THOSE BRIGHT EYES AND THAT INFECTIOUS SMILE. SHE MUST HAVE BEEN ABOUT 23 OR SO. I HEARD HER TELL ONE OF THE OTHER WAITRESSES THAT SHE HAD TWO CHILDREN. I DIDN'T HEAR HER SAY ANYTHING ABOUT A HUSBAND. SHE WANTS TO GO TO COLLEGE. PRE-MED. I THINK SHE CAN DO IT. AN ANGEL CAN DO ANYTHING.
4. YOU GOT TO HAVE FAITH. THE QUESTION WOLD BE: IN WHAT? THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE SELLING FAITH NOWADAYS. FAITH REQUIRES A LEAP INTO THE UNKNOWN. THE UNPROVABLE. TAKING THAT LEAP IS SCARY. I APPROACH IT HESITANTLY, LIKE A BUNGEE JUMPER. I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE CORD, THE DISTANCE, THE BOUNCE, THE WIND, WILL INSURANCE PAY FOR A MISTAKE. GENERALLY SPEAKING, I COULD USE A SHOVE. FAITH IS A HARD THING TO KEEP A GRIP ON. I FIND IT, AND LOSE IT. FIND IT, AND LOSE IT. FIND....
5.DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK. THERE ARE 6 BILLION PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, MANY OF WHOM ALSO THINK. THE PATHS ARE MANY. THE STUPIDITY BOUNDLESS.
6. LOVE COMES IN A VARIETY OF FLAVORS, NONE OF THEM VIOLENT.
7. "DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU" IS NOT AN ARMCHAIR SLOGAN MEANT FOR THE FAINT-OF-HEART. IF SOMEONE IS HUNGRY, SHE DOESN'T NEED A LECTURE ABOUT GETTING A JOB. SHE NEEDS FOOD. THE HOMELESS DON'T NEED A SERMON ABOUT Y9UR IDEOLOGY, OR WHAT RELIGION YOU SUBSCRIBE TO. THEY NEED A PLACE TO LIVE.
8. BEING SAVED IS A WHOLE OTHER MATTER. I COULD HAVE USED SAVING ABOUT TEN TIMES OVER THE YEARS, WHICH MY BE A CONSERVATIVE ESTIMATE. RATHER THAN BEING SAVED IN A HANDS ON KIND OF WAY, I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE ADEQUATE TO CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR. NO NEED FOR PUBLIC DISPLAY.
9. I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND GETTING RELIGION UNLESS YOU MEAN TO DO SOMETHING GOOD WITH IT.
10. NO ONE SHOULD FEAR GOD. I DON'T THINK GOD WOULD WANT US TO FEAR HER. THERE ARE PLENTY OF THINGS TO FEAR: SPIDERS, SNAKES, TORNADOES, HEIGHTS, HURRICANES, INGROWN TOE-NAILS, THE IRS, SENATORS WHO WEAR SHEETS, LIGHTENING, MANIACS, RELIGIOUS OR OTHERWISE. GOD SHOULD NOT BE ONE OF THEM.
11. NO, TEN ARE NOT NEAR ENOUGH. THIS LIFE IS WAY TOO COMPLEX FOR SUCH A SMALL NUMBER, TOO MANY WRONG TURNS TO BE HAD. HAVE YOU EVER WALKED DOWN A ROAD WHERE YOU CAN'T STAND THE PAIN? I SHOULD BE A BETTER HUSBAND OR WIFE. WHAT HOLD ME BACK? AM I AS DEVOTED TO BEING A GOOD FATHER AS I AM TO MY CAREER? CAN I BE A BETTER DAUGHTER? OR IS THE DISTANCE SAFER? WHEN THE ROAD GETS PAINFUL, AM I WILLING TO KEEP ON STEPPING FORWARD? OR WILL IT BURN HOLES IN MY SHOES?
2. IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WERE NO HUMANS. AND IT WAS GOOD. THEN GOD GOT THIS BRILLIANT IDEA: WHY NOT RUIN EVERYTHING?
3. I MET AN ANGEL. SHE WAS A WAITRESS AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE. THOSE BRIGHT EYES AND THAT INFECTIOUS SMILE. SHE MUST HAVE BEEN ABOUT 23 OR SO. I HEARD HER TELL ONE OF THE OTHER WAITRESSES THAT SHE HAD TWO CHILDREN. I DIDN'T HEAR HER SAY ANYTHING ABOUT A HUSBAND. SHE WANTS TO GO TO COLLEGE. PRE-MED. I THINK SHE CAN DO IT. AN ANGEL CAN DO ANYTHING.
4. YOU GOT TO HAVE FAITH. THE QUESTION WOLD BE: IN WHAT? THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE SELLING FAITH NOWADAYS. FAITH REQUIRES A LEAP INTO THE UNKNOWN. THE UNPROVABLE. TAKING THAT LEAP IS SCARY. I APPROACH IT HESITANTLY, LIKE A BUNGEE JUMPER. I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE CORD, THE DISTANCE, THE BOUNCE, THE WIND, WILL INSURANCE PAY FOR A MISTAKE. GENERALLY SPEAKING, I COULD USE A SHOVE. FAITH IS A HARD THING TO KEEP A GRIP ON. I FIND IT, AND LOSE IT. FIND IT, AND LOSE IT. FIND....
5.DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK. THERE ARE 6 BILLION PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, MANY OF WHOM ALSO THINK. THE PATHS ARE MANY. THE STUPIDITY BOUNDLESS.
6. LOVE COMES IN A VARIETY OF FLAVORS, NONE OF THEM VIOLENT.
7. "DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU" IS NOT AN ARMCHAIR SLOGAN MEANT FOR THE FAINT-OF-HEART. IF SOMEONE IS HUNGRY, SHE DOESN'T NEED A LECTURE ABOUT GETTING A JOB. SHE NEEDS FOOD. THE HOMELESS DON'T NEED A SERMON ABOUT Y9UR IDEOLOGY, OR WHAT RELIGION YOU SUBSCRIBE TO. THEY NEED A PLACE TO LIVE.
8. BEING SAVED IS A WHOLE OTHER MATTER. I COULD HAVE USED SAVING ABOUT TEN TIMES OVER THE YEARS, WHICH MY BE A CONSERVATIVE ESTIMATE. RATHER THAN BEING SAVED IN A HANDS ON KIND OF WAY, I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE ADEQUATE TO CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR. NO NEED FOR PUBLIC DISPLAY.
9. I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND GETTING RELIGION UNLESS YOU MEAN TO DO SOMETHING GOOD WITH IT.
10. NO ONE SHOULD FEAR GOD. I DON'T THINK GOD WOULD WANT US TO FEAR HER. THERE ARE PLENTY OF THINGS TO FEAR: SPIDERS, SNAKES, TORNADOES, HEIGHTS, HURRICANES, INGROWN TOE-NAILS, THE IRS, SENATORS WHO WEAR SHEETS, LIGHTENING, MANIACS, RELIGIOUS OR OTHERWISE. GOD SHOULD NOT BE ONE OF THEM.
11. NO, TEN ARE NOT NEAR ENOUGH. THIS LIFE IS WAY TOO COMPLEX FOR SUCH A SMALL NUMBER, TOO MANY WRONG TURNS TO BE HAD. HAVE YOU EVER WALKED DOWN A ROAD WHERE YOU CAN'T STAND THE PAIN? I SHOULD BE A BETTER HUSBAND OR WIFE. WHAT HOLD ME BACK? AM I AS DEVOTED TO BEING A GOOD FATHER AS I AM TO MY CAREER? CAN I BE A BETTER DAUGHTER? OR IS THE DISTANCE SAFER? WHEN THE ROAD GETS PAINFUL, AM I WILLING TO KEEP ON STEPPING FORWARD? OR WILL IT BURN HOLES IN MY SHOES?
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