FAITH

“You got to have faith.” The question would be: In what? Most often, having faith refers to having a belief in God. Faith in God requires a leap into the unknown, the unprovable. There is no 100% certainty.  You either believe or you don’t. There is not much of a halfway point. Taking that leap is difficult for a lot of people, including myself. You want to dive over the edge like a bungee jumper, but you don’t quite trust it. The cord. The distance. The bounce. Generally speaking, I could use a shove, but that’s not how it works. It’s you who must face the doubt and uncertainty. I try to leap across the chasm in two measured, hesitant leaps, but I always come up short. Faith is a word that has always troubled me. I find it, than lose it; find it, than lose it; find………

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I finished two and one-half years of seminary. I recently completed two courses by internet. I have four courses left to complete a master’s degree in theology. I don’t really need a master’s degree in theology for any good reason. I’m almost 70 years old. I’m past personal accomplishment. And I’m not an ego-maniac. I did it mainly to see if I still could. Was I still searching for God? Maybe. I never really took that leap that Kierkegaard referred to. He actually wrote about a leap of faith. Either way, you got to jump. Into the unknown.  I’m a contrarion by nature. A stubborn carmodgeon by choice. I do not like to do what the crowd is doing. I don’t trust group-think.  To me it seems best that the mystic seek God from within, rather than from without. A leap is way too dangerous.