Quote of the Day

Maturity turns out to be a question you can never answer with confidence, despite advanced age and wage.

Brian Doyle, Chicago

ANGEL UNDERNEATH MY BED

Sleep. Sleep is good. Some people don't like to sleep. They think it's a waste of time. What can you get accomplished while you're sleeping? Everyone wants to get something accomplished. I want to dream. After almost dying, sleep entices me. Sleep soothes me and lets me dream about what comes next. It's an odd feeling, but a relaxing one. There must be an angel waiting underneath my bed.

TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES

The truth is, it's hard to know what the truth is. Is the truth the truth because one particular person says it is? Or because it's written in some fancy book? What does the truth look like? Is it pleasing to the eye, like an angel? Or does it look more like the devil, with horns and a tail? Does the truth smell? Is it sweet or bitter to the taste? Is the truth like water flowing through your fingers? Could you drown in it? Maybe the truth is not really the truth. And what's the consequence for making up a truth that's not?

BENEDICTION

HERE IT COME GOD: I TALK MORE THAN I ACT. I GOT WAY TOO MUCH AND GIVE AWAY WAY TOO LITTLE. I EAT FANCY FOOD AND DRINK BOTTLED WATER WHILE OTHERS GO HUNGRY AND THIRST. I GAMBLE AWAY MONEY I SHOULD GIVE TO THE POOR. I BITCH AND MOAN WHEN I HAVE NO RIGHT TO. I LIVE IN A NICE HOUSE WHILE OTHERS LIVE IN CARD-BOARD BOXES. MY WEAKNESSES ARE MANY AND MY STRENGTHS FEW. I LOOK IN A MIRROR AND AM NOT SATISFIED. TAKE MY HAND AND LEAD ME TO WHERE I NEED TO BE.
AMEN

A SUNDAY PLEA

DEAR GOD,
I'M WORRIED. PEOPLE SEEM TO THINK THEY KNOW YOU PRETTY WELL. YOU WOULD ENDORSE THIS POLICY, THAT LAW, THIS IDEA. A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE PRETTY BUDDY-BUDDY WITH YOU. I HAVE ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE THE GREAT MYSTERY. I DON'T THINK ANYONE SHOULD CLAIM YOU AS THEIR OWN. WE HAVE A LOT OF POLITICIANS AND RIGHT-WING REPUBLICANS DOING JUST THAT. COULD YOU PLEASE HELP US GET RID OF THEM? I'LL NEVER ASK ANOTHER THING FROM YOU, HONEST.

THANKS,
THE PEEVER

PRACTICING THE ART OF LIVING

HATE

It was hot, like 105 degrees hot. I pulled into a Dairy Queen in Dickson, Tennessee, for some relief. I was headed for Murfreesboro on a work assignment. The young lady who waited on me had “HATE” tattooed across her fingers. She must have been about 25 or so. I figured she had a pretty rough life. She was really thin, methamphetamine thin. She had several additional nonprofessional tattoos on her arm. When she handed me my order, I asked if her fingers were getting any better? Maybe someone had asked her that before, I don’t know. It didn’t seem to startle her. She seemed to understand my temptation in asking. Anyway, she said yes, thanks. I’m sure that “HATE” went onto those fingers hard and will come off slow. A young woman I stumbled across in Dickson, Tennessee. I don’t have the slightest idea what her name was or the life she had made for herself, but I hope her fingers get some relief.

WORDS

VIOLENCE

Violence resides in all of us. We all carry a dark side. When we engage in war, it is all of us that are responsible, not just the chosen few. With each school shooting, each mall killing, each street corner revenge, humanity becomes less than what it could have been. When we take an eye for an eye, we become no better than our enemy. We move away from the common good, toward the common bad. Before long, we accept the common bad as okay, something we can live with. This is the law of diminishing humanity. We are all responsible. We sit around and watch ourselves slide back into the primordial ooze.

LOVE

• LOVE COMES IN A VARIETY OF FLAVORS, NONE OF THEM VIOLENT.
• LOVE HAS BEEN MISUSED AND ABUSED SO MUCH THAT IT IS HARD TO SPOT THE REAL DEAL.
• LOVE MEANS HAVING TO SAY YOU ARE SORRY, NUMEROUS TIMES.
• NEVER GET MARRIED STRICTLY FOR LOVE, CAUSE LOVE CAN WEAR THIN, REAL QUICK.
• THEY SAY LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND. I SAY IT'S GRAVY.
• LOVE CAN TAKE YOU A LONG WAY. UNFORTUNATELY, SOMETIMES THE WRONG WAY.
• STILL, IF I HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE, I'D TAKE LOVE EVERY  TIME. I HATE HATE.

TEN DEADLY SINS

1. DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK.
2. CHEAP IS NOT ALWAYS THE BEST PRICE.
3. PRETTY, OR HANDSOME, IS ONLY SKIN DEEP.
4. KILLING SOMEONE IN THE PURSUIT OF PEACE IS CRAZY THINKJING.
5. NEVER TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED.
6. TAKING DRUGS WILL NOT BRING YOU HAPPINESS.
7. SELLING DRUGS WILL ALWAYS BRING YOU PRISON TIME.
8. DON'T CHARGE FULL PRICE FOR A HALF-ASSED JOB.
9. NEVER TAKE MORE THAN YOU NEED.
10. DON'T GET RELIGION UNLESS YOU MEAN TO DO SOMETHING GOOD WITH IT.

SUNDAY MORNING TRUTH

I DON'T TRUST GOING INTO ANY CHURCH THAT DISPLAYS AN AMERICAN FLAG. I THINK WE NEED TO KEEP THE CHURCH AND THE FLAG AS FAR AWAY FROM ONE ANOTHER AS POSSIBLE. BLENDING THEM TOGETHER CREATES SCARY LITTLE RIGHT-WING CHRISTIAN PESTS. TIME TO CALL ORKIN.

HOW TO CULTIVATE A SPIRITUAL LIFE:

• Attend church on an irregular basis.
• Spend more time practicing good and less time discussing politics.
• Rather than collecting possessions, collect friends.
• Try to understand that you cannot kill your way to peace, or soothe a grieving heart by revenge.
• Don't believe everything you hear, even if they are wearing a collar or a robe.
• It is better to come to faith inwardly rather than outwardly. This is why missionaries are a waste of time, and damning sermons are just that; damning.
• If you think your God is bigger and better than the rest, wait till you see the condom I bought you.
• Religion is not meant to prove anything. It is meant to fill in the void. The darkness. The mystery will always remain, or God will die.
• We are each fashioned after the Divine, which I would translate into meaning we each have a touch of the Divine in us. We should treat one another accordingly. Thus states the Gospel according to The Peever.